So it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted anything and to be honest I hit a bit of a mental block when it came to writing! I’ve sat at the laptop numerous times and nothing would come out! But it was a busy and emotional couple of weeks and I needed to get re focused!!
It’s hard to put into words sometimes what I’m feeling or what I’m going through, even when I’m trying to explain it to family or friends it just doesn’t feel real, almost like I’m talking about someone else! But I’m not, its me I’m talking about and its me that has this horrible disease that has completely turned my world upside down….But acceptance is important in times like this, its hard and I’m still not fully there yet, but I need to accept it we all need to accept what life throws at us and just try look for the positives or the reasons behind it. I’ve always been a huge believer that everything happens for a reason but there are days I struggle to understand the reason this is happening to me and my beautiful friend!! when I see the worry and hurt in the eyes of everyone I love it kills me….I hate that I’m putting them through all of this, even though I know its not my fault or nothing I could have or can do to control it….it still hurts me to see them upset!
I’m fighting this for all of you that are behind me and supporting me and worrying about me….I promise to do everything in my power to stay around annoying you all with stupid dad jokes for as long as I can!! ❤️ myself and my best friend Elaine often joke about what well be like when were older, and I cant wait to be 2 little old ladies still chasing the latest beauty trend and rocking the greys!! 👵🏼👵🏼
So anyway whats happened in the last couple of weeks…..?? well I turned 34!! (which I would normally give out about but not this year) my birthday was unfortunately spent in hospital as I had an infection and they needed to keep my temperature under control and give me IV fluids. Even so I had a great day full of love and laughter and was completely spoiled rotten!! We also got a new member of the family…. storm the kitten ☺️❤️ she’s adorable and has its lovely to have her to cuddle up with at night, (saves me getting a boyfriend pillow 😂😜). although shes hard work too!
We also went on holiday to Torremolinos (hence the title if you remember my previous post) and it was tropic!! I had some bad days where I needed to rest or miss certain things leaving the boys with my family while I went to bed or was sick, but I also had some good days and That’s what I’ll take from the week….memories were made and fun and laughter was in abundance!! The boys had a ball, Bobby won the dance competition TWICE!! and I’m so very grateful to my family for bringing us away it was so generous and a lovely treat to get away from everything for a bit!
I’m back in for chemo on Monday after almost a month off! I’m not exactly looking forward to it but I am looking forward to getting back into fight mode and hitting this thing with everything I have in me… I also want to mention the GOFUNDME page my sister Natalie has set up, I am truly in awe of the support and donations I have received, and want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you!! The money raised I can assure you will be put to good use, I have already started the process of a detoxifying program which involves an initial face time consultation with the specialist in California. If anyone would like more information about it don’t hesitate to contact me.
That’s all for now, thanks for reading and the continued support it means a lot.
“We encounter many defeats…..but we must not be defeated”