Symptoms, side effects and the future….  

Unfortunately for me my type of cancer does not really have clear signs or symptoms until the late stages, which is what happened in my case! But some signs can be pain in the abdominal area, swelling of the stomach and blood in the urine.  Up until I was diagnosed I had been treated on an ongoing basis for urinary tract infections getting antibiotic after antibiotic with no real relief! This resulted in my doctor eventually organising:

A cystoscopy: This is a procedure to look inside the bladder using a thin camera called a cystoscope. A cystoscope is inserted into the urethra (the tube that carries pee out of the body) and passed into the bladder to allow a doctor or nurse to see inside.

So with that procedure booked in I got on with life and it was Christmas time so everything was put on hold, and even though I had started feeling quite unwell in myself in general on an ongoing basis. I remember even having to come home early the night myself and the girls met to exchange our kris kindle pressies!! 😔  I remeber the girls noticing how swollen my stomach was and this had been happening regularly , where I’d feel so uncomfortable and swollen but I would put it down to my diet or digestion as at this stage my appetite had started to deplete drastically!!

Then as I said previously I ended up in michaels in january ironically 5 days before the cystoscopy was scheduled! And because I ended up being admitted to hollestreet and how the scans were looking it was suspected that I had ovarian cancer and my cystoscopy was cancelled! I ended up having it done anyway 2 weeks later when they realised the ovarian tumours weren’t the primary and they couldn’t figure out where this cancer was stemming from.

Anyway we know now the diagnosis as I explain in my previous post, I spent a total of 7 weeks in hospital since that very first trip to michaels A&E back in January, I never got to go home and digest or take everything in before all the surgery and treatment began so everything has been such a crazy rollarcoaster of a ride up until now, I think im only just starting to actually process it and understand what it really means for me, right now my future is uncertain BUT I guess you can say the same thing for everyone. None of us know when our time is up, so I plan on trying (its not easy somedays) to enjoy each day im lucky enough to have in this life!

Cancer can be a lonely place, when you first hear the news its like you cant believe it (well for me anyway), this couldn’t be happening to me?? I cant have cancer?? BUT I do and so do many many others more and more I hear about it affecting someones life! As a lot of you know one of my very best friends is also battling this horrible disease at the moment. we met the first day of school and will celebrate 30 years of friendship ths year ❤️!! Check out her blog for some inspiration

With that being said I have now experienced it from both sides….worrying and feeling helpless for someone I love….and now being that person that others worry about and want to help! Its not fun from either side I can tell you that much.  Sometimes I cant help but feel like a burden, not that for even one second has anyone made me feel that way its the opposite actually lol people cant do enough for me! And im so grateful for that but, I felt lost even though I was surrounded by people and love and support I felt alone and bewildered in the face of this terrifying thing I knew I had to try and fight because no one can do it for me it’s up to me!! Although having the people I have around me makes it so much easier and less scary, hence the title of this post…..we all get by with a little help from our friends.

Until next time, Thanks for reading!

Ciara xx

“Material things that are lost can be found…….The one thing which cannot be found once lost is life”

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